« Walking is now the only mode of transportation and 1 year old stats! | Main | I-131 Treatment »
How Luke Russert is helping me “redefine” success…
By Michelle | June 17, 2008
OK, so all of you know that I’m not "up on" politics and the race for the White House as much as I should be (I often look to my husband to give me the down and dirty on what’s going on in 5 minutes or less) and I was not a die hard viewer of Meet the Press, but when Jeff called on Friday afternoon and told me that Tim Russert had died of a heart attack at 58 leaving a wife and 22 year-old son behind, my heart sank. Every night I say a prayer that this will never happen to our family. It is a constant fear that I secretly struggle with because Jeff’s dad died at 43 from a massive heart attack when Jeff was only 13, and I cannot imagine how horrible that was for Jeff’s family and how it completely changed his life at 13 or at 22 in Luke Russert’s case. I did not know much at all about Tim Russert, (funny how that happens after tragedy and not before), but I was being drawn to the TV set on Friday night because of how NBC was portraying this devout Catholic man as powerful, yet humble, who worked tremendous hours, but always made time for his family, wife and son, who interviewed some of the most important and influential people in the world, but who was well regarded, approachable, and loved by his colleagues. How can that be in today’s world, I wondered??? Don’t you have to scratch and bite your way to the top and once you get there, make sure other people know how important you are by developing a huge ego and lavishing yourself with the newest big house, nicest car, best vacations, a second home, and all the "things" that the media tells us will make us happy?? I was certain that NBC was just pushing one of their own because this guy was way too good to be true…THEN…Jeff and I caught Luke Russert’s interview on the Today Show Monday morning. As we sat there watching, Jeff said to me, "How in the world can he be that put together??"! I knew what he meant on one level, like how in the world can he not just be choking up at the mere mention of his dad that had literally died just hours ago, but I was struck on a deeper level, how in the world can can this 22 year-old kid be that "put together"! How in the world did he have such a positive view on his dad, his grandfather, his mother and be able to express those views on national television? How can a young man who just graduated from college, have no doubt in his heart that his father loved him more than life itself? How is that possible? So I began to wonder, how in the heck was this boy raised?? Obviously money was not an issue in this family, so why was he so grateful to his parents for paying for the college of his choice? Why did he call his dad 2-3 times a day everyday to just shoot the bull? Why was he not embarrassed of his dad when he tailgated with him and his friends up at Boston College and said that he was just like one of the boys and that all of his friends adored him as much as he did? Why???
So "my" answer…faith, family, and discipline.
Why do I stop what I’m doing every Saturday afternoon around 3pm or get up early on Sunday to get the girls ready to go to church and take them there every weekend…because I want them to know that there is something out there that is greater than them. Yeah, it is a major pain in the butt to get everyone ready, yeah they girls don’t stop wiggling in their seats, yeah I’m starting the process all over with Samantha Jane….but sitting in the pew next to Nana and Papa now is my little Sarah Jo who gets stretches of quietness during Mass. My little Sarah Jo who now asks me to teach her prayers and who is ecstatic when there is a gathering downstairs after Mass where she can eat a little something and sit on big girl chairs. This is their community, this is what I promised them when I baptized them, this is knowing that in joyful times and painful times, she will have somewhere to turn. That is why finding a Catholic school where her values are respected and where she will be accepted is so very important to me. That is why I believe faith matters to our family and our children.
I need to give lots of props to Jeff on the next two items. Yes, I discipline the girls, but he often gets stuck with the role of "being the heavy". A good military term he says… a drill instructor cannot be the mom and the heavy at the same time. He ends up with most of the heavy work, but the girls absolutely adore him, and he is so involved in their lives. He and Sarah Jo will have these great conversations about all sorts of things and he loves to teach her….anything and everything. Teaching and discipline, there really are no greater gifts!
As you know, our families are tight….again though, I have to give credit to Jeff for assuring me that moving to Education Hill was the right thing to do. Of course when we moved back from Georgia I was not too excited about moving blocks from where we grew up…but now…what a HUGE blessing we have. Our girls will know their extended families and build a love and bond with them that not many kids have these days. Many, many kids have to fly thousands of miles to even see their extended families…ours get the pleasure on a daily/weekly basis. It is a gift that we believe will be priceless. Thank you Jeff for standing strong and knowing how important this gift of family would eventually be to our girls!
So back to this parenting thing and what success looks like. I don’t claim to have the answer and God knows I am doing tons and tons of things wrong, but if my kid turns out a little like Luke Russet, then I think I will be pretty darn proud of myself. Remember when I said that I felt like I was really angry because I thought that I had a good handle on my life and I had nothing to learn so why in the heck did "I" get thyroid cancer…well, I was wrong on that one for sure!! I have learned so much and what a huge blessing to learn it at 35 when my girls are almost 4 and 1 years old. Jeff loves to remind me that you have a 1 in 1 chance of dying someday and to people who don’t know him well, that sounds horrible…but really…it is the truth. Of course we both feel 100% confident that I’m going to be just fine and that I’ll live to be 107 (I have some good "old" genes in my family people!!), but what I have learned is why in the hell am I running to finish the race?? I am the master of list making and getting to the next task…that for me is slowly changing. I’m really working on "in the moment"…I know everyone says it…but it is an entirely different thing to do it. I don’t claim to be good at it yet, but I know that even though the last 6 months I have been extremely tired, I have been pretty darn happy too. Yes, I still get irritated at Sarah Jo when she won’t be quiet and has jumped on my back for the 30th time, or when Samantha Jane is crawling up the stairs again, or when Sheridan peed in her cage (poor old girl can’t hold it in that long anymore), or when the grass gets a little too long in the front yard and Jeff is checking email on Saturday morning….but I’m trying, ever so slowly, to realize that this is our life….these traits our what makes the people in our family who they are, and just because it is not done my way all the time, doesn’t mean it is wrong. Huge and hard for me, but definitely a lesson…one that I will be working on for a long time to come.
So Luke, in closing, I can’t imagine what you are going through right now and I cannot imagine how much of a void that your father’s death will leave in your life, but thank you for sharing your story with the nation this week…as a parent trying to navigate the waters with two young girls…I hope that one day our girls will be able to express their love for our family as you did for yours!
Topics: General | No Comments »